The Top Ten Most Annoying People Using Public Transportation During Peak Traffic Periods
10. The guy who stands right up next to the pole so the four-foot-eight-inch woman who just got on has to hold on from three feet away.
9. Teenagers snogging in the center of the stairs when the conductor announces that the doors are closing.
8. Bus drivers who close the doors and wait two feet from the bus stop with the doors closed until the lights change.
7. People with unfortunate voices who feel compelled to discuss their relationship with the eternal, and yours.
6. Whoever that female is who's dropping the dime on Julio in the last panel of the latest Julio and Marisol ad.
5. Julio
4. People who wedge their way past you to be the first person off the train or down the stairs and then saunter the rest of the way
3. Able-bodied twenty year olds pretending really really hard they don't see the old/pregnant people standing up.
2. a tie:
People with wading pools of Designer Impostors in their basements who take a quick dip before they leave the house,
and
People who elbow their way past people who have been waiting patiently for the bus and only then, when they're blocking the doorway, look for their fare, which is inevitably in nickels and interspersed with pennies and pocket lint
and the number one most purely annoying group of people on public transportation:
1. Men who fondly hope that someone will think they're taking up two seats on a crowded train because there's something between their legs that's wider than their shoulders.
10. The guy who stands right up next to the pole so the four-foot-eight-inch woman who just got on has to hold on from three feet away.
9. Teenagers snogging in the center of the stairs when the conductor announces that the doors are closing.
8. Bus drivers who close the doors and wait two feet from the bus stop with the doors closed until the lights change.
7. People with unfortunate voices who feel compelled to discuss their relationship with the eternal, and yours.
6. Whoever that female is who's dropping the dime on Julio in the last panel of the latest Julio and Marisol ad.
5. Julio
4. People who wedge their way past you to be the first person off the train or down the stairs and then saunter the rest of the way
3. Able-bodied twenty year olds pretending really really hard they don't see the old/pregnant people standing up.
2. a tie:
People with wading pools of Designer Impostors in their basements who take a quick dip before they leave the house,
and
People who elbow their way past people who have been waiting patiently for the bus and only then, when they're blocking the doorway, look for their fare, which is inevitably in nickels and interspersed with pennies and pocket lint
and the number one most purely annoying group of people on public transportation:
1. Men who fondly hope that someone will think they're taking up two seats on a crowded train because there's something between their legs that's wider than their shoulders.