No, but you were so close...

It has come to my attention that some of you gentle people may be having a little difficulty telling the difference between me and an amish guy. I base this on the fact that this man just came up to me at starbucks and asked if I was "the amish guy," who apparently is "also tall".

As a public service to both naturalized New Yorkers and those who plan in future to visit our fair city (cause I think natives are already sufficiently sensitized in the area of indeterminate gender), I thought I'd run down a quick checklist of differences so you can pick up which of us you're encountering if we should bump into each other.

Amish guy: no buttons

Me: buttons

Amish guy: no cell phone

Me: cell phone

Amish guy: unimpressive mp3 collection, if any

Me: 5 gigabytes of bad pop music from the late sixties and early seventies

Amish guy: minimal makeup

Me: own makeup. Have definite plans to wear it some day.

Amish guy: knows a lot of people named Stoltzfuz

Me: think it's really neat that amish guys know a lot of people named Stoltzfuz. Know a lot of people named Nguyen and Shah.

Amish guy: no blog

Me: blog

Amish guy: probably no breasts

Me: breasts

Amish guy: lots of healthful exercise

Me: think healthful exercise should be legal for consenting adults

There are other indicators, like a uterus, only a very light beard and a Queens County address, but I think you get the general picture.

Morimotothon update

Turkey is still in first, but Rice has pulled ahead of Giant Eel and it's closing fast. King Crab is coming up in fourth.

Her majesty, fortune's favorite, currently snorking down her skettis, apparently has the wind at her back on this one.

You have no idea what a shock this isn't to all of us who know her.

Crystalline entities: Not your father's brooms with buckets

Tonight was that TNG episode where that scientist whose kid's memories are in Data's brain kills the crystalline entity that killed the kid by vibrating it to death because she feels like a bad mother for choosing a career. (God forbid she should kill the damn thing because it had killed millions of people and her kid was dead and she doesn't feel too warmly towards it. Nope, she's a bad mom. Pfui).

Anyway, what I have wondered about this since the first time I saw it is (no, not where was the kid's father while all this was going on, but it's a damn good question) this: it's a crystalline entity. Crystals grow from 'seeds.' She blooeyed this thing into a zillion pieces. Didn't she just create about a zillion crystalline entity seeds?

Now, Starfleet is certainly not knocking down my door to offer me a high-profile interstellar science position, but this does not strike me as a particularly good idea.

Yes, I am a complete geek. Why do you ask?