Three reasons I am proud

4) The kid likes finocchio

3) It took her all of forty-five seconds to find the latest in an endless series of bosom friends we've never met before at the McDonald's playground

2) "Uncle George is such a copycat, because [her new best friend's mommy] is forty too"

1) Should we wait here for daddy?
It's dad.
Oh, OK
I'll look out for dad. You stay here, mommy.
How come I'm mommy and he's dad?
Oh. I forgot. You're mom.
I'm good with being mommy. I've been mommy a while.
No, you're mom.
But what if I'm not any good at being mom? All my experience is with being mommy.
You're good at being mom. It's just like being mommy, only shorter.

The country you save may be your own. Or maybe you just live here.

You know, maybe McCarthy didn't succeed in making America safe for William F. Buckley because he had to spend so damn much time pressuring dangerous liberals and socialists and persons of non-traditional gender affiliation and/or continental origin to roll over on their fellow dangerous liberals and socialists and persons of non-traditional gender affiliation and/or continental origin. Don't let it happen again. If you've been harboring doubts about some of Karl Rove's plans for the world, or maybe just wondering out loud how the Star Wars shield would target boxcutters and what the hell phonics-based education has to do with fighting terrorism, you are clearly what's wrong with America today. Please report yourself here.

Do it for the children.