zom, er, e!

[sisyphusshrugged]

cleolinda , you star!

My favorite “Twilight”-related blog, the hilarious loves-it-and-hates-it-and-is-totally-obsessed-with-it “Cleoland,” at http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/ (note to readers: adult discussion and language sometimes exists on this particular blog, so don’t say you weren’t warned), puts it this way: “Yeah, it’s like, Bella wants to be a vampire but she doesn’t want to be a vampire before she’s had sex as a human, and Edward doesn’t want her to be a vampire but he wants to get married, but Bella doesn’t want to get married unless she can be a vampire, but Edward won’t have sex with her until they get married, and then you put the fox and the grain in the boat and you leave the goose back on the riverbank.”

note: spoilers in comments.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

This description almost makes me want to read the book or watch the movie. -ArC

[jmhm.livejournal.com]

My daughter is a big fan of the books.

Trust me, you want to see the movie.

[mayakda.livejournal.com]

So is my daughter -- I deserve some kind of award for all the snark I HAVEN'T said as I listen to all the "Bella thinks ..." and "Edward says ..." and "oh, listen to this part!"
She hasn't read the last book yet -- I have warned her it is gross and gory but haven't downright forbidden her from reading it because I'm not that dumb yet.

[jmhm.livejournal.com]

Why wouldn't you want her to read it? It's a great life lesson. Get married as early as you can, then cut yourself off completely from your family and your friends. If he leaves you covered with bruises, try to make him feel better - you know he only did it because he loves you, and he shouldn't have to feel guilty about it. Besides, you kind of like it.

Your best new friend is the hostile, unfriendly, judgmental woman who is willing to commit murder to keep you from getting an abortion when the pregnancy is almost certainly going to kill you. You'll come out the other side much more beautiful and your eyesight will have improved. Your weight problems, of course, are over.

You all love hunting, which gets you out of doors into the fresh air for lots of healthy exercise.

The baby will immediately sleep through the night (this leaves you eight hours a day to have sex), is capable of adult-level communication and moral thought, and will have a legion of avid babysitters, all of whom are highly educated and don't work for a living. This, along with household staff and lots of money, will allow you to attend Dartmouth for at least some of the seven years it will take her to grow to maturity.

The grown man with the dominance issues and the impulse control problems who's already completely appropriately planning to mate with your daughter at seven only has her best interests at heart.

I think once you throw in the "I want Edward to break my headboard, bite my pillows and leave me covered with bruises" thong at the Twilight Cafe Press store it's a total message I personally feel completely comfortable seeing a tween hone her budding sexuality on.

[mayakda.livejournal.com]

Ahhh!!!!! *scrubs brain*

We do get to discuss interesting things because of the earlier books -- the latest was emotional blackmail (when she told me that Edward tells Bella it's unfair that he's a vampire because then he can't kill himself if she ever leaves him).

[jmhm.livejournal.com]

It's not just emotional blackmail, it's not even true. Vampires dying is a central theme of the last book.

[mayakda.livejournal.com]

Why that manipulative little undead punk!

[(Anonymous)]

Good lord, I thought you were hyperbolizing about what was available at Cafepress. Now I need the brain bleach. -ArC

vamp love

[9bill.blogspot.com (from livejournal.com)]

Thank you for sharing that quote. It sums up so well all the reasons I subconsciously have for just *knowing* I don't want to see this movie remake of Titanic w/ added canine teeth.

You've restored my faith in my subconscious humanity.