sisyphusshrugged | Texas crude

Allow me to translate this for you.

President Bush said on Wednesday he would not release strategic oil stocks to curb record gasoline prices while he was waging war on terror and accused Democrats of playing politics on energy.

Bush rejected any solution to the rapid rise in gasoline prices that would use the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, a national emergency stockpile, to give motorists relief at the pump.

Ideas such as halting shipments to the reserve or releasing some of its supplies would leave America vulnerable in the event of a terrorist attack, Bush said.

"The idea of emptying the Strategic Petroleum Reserve ... would put America in a dangerous position in the war on terror," Bush told reporters after a Cabinet meeting.

"We must not put ourselves in a worse position in this war. And playing politics with the Strategic Petroleum Reserve would do just that."

...

When asked what short-term measures he would use to rein in the prices, Bush did not list any new initiatives but lambasted Democrats for blocking his sweeping energy bill.

While Bush warned of the danger of emptying the reserve -- which is stored in salt caverns at four underground sites in Texas and Louisiana -- Democratic proposals range from a temporary halt in shipments to it to releasing a portion of the crude it holds.

[subtitled for the bullshit impaired]

A huge Republican donor has been offered the contract to supply oil to the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, so even though the reserves are pretty much full, we're going to keep buying oil at the current ridiculous prices, of which our donor will keep a cut. Any suggestion that we should not be spending money we don't have and creating artificial scarcity to drive up prices even further is, of course, blatantly political.

Hereinafter, the administration will only respond to imaginary Democratic demands that the reserves be emptied. We vehemently oppose this non-existent request and will fight it to the limits of our strength, as we feel we are at our best fighting imaginary opponents.

In closing, we really suck, and we suggest you do not vote for us.

See how easy that was?