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sisyphusshruggedoh, dear, there's been a convention.
Anyway, since my last, Senator Miller, the Democratic Senator from Georgia, delivered the keynote address.
Senator Zell renounces us. Hoo-wee, does Senator Zell renounce us. Soldiers have died to protect our freedoms and we have some damn nerve trying to exercise them. If we were patriots, we would be voting for President Bush. Kerry stinks. Kerry really, really stinks. Kerry stinks a really lot. Democrats are mushy and slick and self-indulgent and and fainthearted and we blame America for everything. Wendell Wilkie didn't think a Republican should be in the White House during World War Two, which just proves something but not what Senator Zell thinks it proves, I think.
A poem for Senator Zell:
Then Senator Zell went on TV and they asked him why he was such a big fan of Kerry up until recently and he said that it was a youthful indiscretion, bringing the age limit of youthful indiscretions up into the early seventies and putting paid to the idea that you can hold a Republican politician responsible for anything he or she does while they're still continent. Then he challenged Chris Matthews to a duel because Chris Matthews asked him questions and the way Zell Miller was raised, a gentleman doesn't do that particularly if they're a journalist.
I don't think the Senator is a well man. I feel badly for Mrs. Senator Zell right now. I especially feel badly for Mrs. Senator Zell because all his new friends are running away from him just as fast as their little feet can carry them, not that they didn't choose to leave his speech on a featured spot on their convention website anyway. I get the feeling that the market in Senator Zell futures is trending down after a short period of irrational exuberance on somebody's part.
Mr. Cheney, he's kinda pissed off too. Mr. Cheney apparently really, really likes his job a whole lot, and even if he didn't, which he does, it's his job, goddamnit, and nobody gets a job away from Dick Cheney when Dick Cheney wants to keep a job.
Mr. Cheney spoke from atop the bodies of the victims of 9/11. They want you to vote for him. They were killed by furriners, and they want us to go in and attack furriners we don't like even if they're not the same furriners because they're furriners which is the same thing as being just like the furriner who was behind the attack even if we haven't be able to find that particular furriner but we overthrew the only secular country in the middle east and opened it up as a training ground for the furriners who attacked us which the people who attacked us wanted to do but couldn't which proves that we beat them.
Here are Senator Zell and Mr. Cheney speaking to America. Shake up a bottle of seltzer and open it near your monitor to get the full spittle-flecked effect.
Then the delegates got back into their hermetically-sealed busses to protect them from New Yorker cooties and tore up the special lanes on all the avenues back up to their hotels. They probably shouldn't have bothered, because midtown was kind of like the Sunday of a three-day weekend all week. Empty, is what I'm saying. Anybody with any choice at all got the hell out of Dodge. I must have seen at least one police officer for every five civilians. Most of them looked as if they'd've very much liked to have been elsewhere. Of course, as Anna points out, they had their orders, and their boss went along with the theme of the week by treating the first amendment as a "privilege" that local officials (or maybe just billionaire media owners) have the option of revoking.
K. On to Thursday.
On Thursday Mr. Pataki, the governor who has spent millions of our tax dollars since he took office on a desperate rear-guard action to keep from having to educate the children of New York City, wanted to thank Our Fearless Leader for supporting us in our hour of need, particularly what little homeland security money we got, which Mr. Pataki also shipped most of upstate because, well, we don't vote for him down here, 'cause he's a jerk, but unfortunately that's also why we don't vote for Our Fearless Leader, who has been similarly resistant to spending Homeland Security funds on New York State when there are still vacant lots in Montana at risk.
Then he announced Our Fearless Leader.
At that point The Majority Report got us on the phone and we made a great deal of noise.
I don't really need to tell you what he said, because you've heard it about a billion times before - cap damages awards from bad doctors, tax cut tax cut tax cut freedom education tax cut tax cut climb ev'ry mountain ford ev'ry stream ownership society I speak a few words of spanish, did I mention that? terror terror terror Saddam and al Qaeda are linked somehow and some grunt sent me a letter where he said "we soldiers of yours" and terror and Saddam was not a very nice man and Osama who and at least four more years and we'll decide whether to have another election. Arnold talks better than me and he's not even from here. Heh.
The audience, already surfeited with the huge bloody hunks of red meat they'd been tossed from the stage all week, was not as enthusiastic about the speech as they were about the speeches they hadn't already heard, but they hopped to their feet and shouted four more years every time a protester popped up in the audience so the cameras couldn't catch the protester being dragged away.
I watched Our Fearless Leader speak from the Tank, which was closing out a much-appreciated week of providing a place for non-Republican bloggers to hang their hats. Two nice things about hanging out with the liberals all week: you didn't have to watch your stuff, because no-one took anything, and the heckling of the speeches was olympic caliber. [ahistorical nonsense], someone Republican and/or a media person or David Brooks would say, and then someone from the audience would yell [exactly what was wrong with what they said with helpful illustrative cites]. Or "Four more months." That was good too.
The mighty Atrios and the lovely Mrs. Atrios fed me pizza and the Kossacks set up a table with snackforms. Also there was beer. Many beers. Beersh, even.
Now we'd appreciate it if all you nice delegates would go home because Mr. Bloomberg isn't going to let all the illegally detained people go until you do and we really don't have the money for the fines and besides which he thinks that yelling is an act of terror (no, really, he said so) and we really don't want him to completely leave the rails and start telling the police to shoot people for raising their voice.
You are very scary people. Just saying.
ed. link fixed
Anyway, since my last, Senator Miller, the Democratic Senator from Georgia, delivered the keynote address.
Senator Zell renounces us. Hoo-wee, does Senator Zell renounce us. Soldiers have died to protect our freedoms and we have some damn nerve trying to exercise them. If we were patriots, we would be voting for President Bush. Kerry stinks. Kerry really, really stinks. Kerry stinks a really lot. Democrats are mushy and slick and self-indulgent and and fainthearted and we blame America for everything. Wendell Wilkie didn't think a Republican should be in the White House during World War Two, which just proves something but not what Senator Zell thinks it proves, I think.
A poem for Senator Zell:
I do not like thee, Senator Zell
Just why would take too long to tell
But this I know and know full well
I do not like thee, Senator Zell
Then Senator Zell went on TV and they asked him why he was such a big fan of Kerry up until recently and he said that it was a youthful indiscretion, bringing the age limit of youthful indiscretions up into the early seventies and putting paid to the idea that you can hold a Republican politician responsible for anything he or she does while they're still continent. Then he challenged Chris Matthews to a duel because Chris Matthews asked him questions and the way Zell Miller was raised, a gentleman doesn't do that particularly if they're a journalist.
I don't think the Senator is a well man. I feel badly for Mrs. Senator Zell right now. I especially feel badly for Mrs. Senator Zell because all his new friends are running away from him just as fast as their little feet can carry them, not that they didn't choose to leave his speech on a featured spot on their convention website anyway. I get the feeling that the market in Senator Zell futures is trending down after a short period of irrational exuberance on somebody's part.
Mr. Cheney, he's kinda pissed off too. Mr. Cheney apparently really, really likes his job a whole lot, and even if he didn't, which he does, it's his job, goddamnit, and nobody gets a job away from Dick Cheney when Dick Cheney wants to keep a job.
Mr. Cheney spoke from atop the bodies of the victims of 9/11. They want you to vote for him. They were killed by furriners, and they want us to go in and attack furriners we don't like even if they're not the same furriners because they're furriners which is the same thing as being just like the furriner who was behind the attack even if we haven't be able to find that particular furriner but we overthrew the only secular country in the middle east and opened it up as a training ground for the furriners who attacked us which the people who attacked us wanted to do but couldn't which proves that we beat them.
Here are Senator Zell and Mr. Cheney speaking to America. Shake up a bottle of seltzer and open it near your monitor to get the full spittle-flecked effect.
Then the delegates got back into their hermetically-sealed busses to protect them from New Yorker cooties and tore up the special lanes on all the avenues back up to their hotels. They probably shouldn't have bothered, because midtown was kind of like the Sunday of a three-day weekend all week. Empty, is what I'm saying. Anybody with any choice at all got the hell out of Dodge. I must have seen at least one police officer for every five civilians. Most of them looked as if they'd've very much liked to have been elsewhere. Of course, as Anna points out, they had their orders, and their boss went along with the theme of the week by treating the first amendment as a "privilege" that local officials (or maybe just billionaire media owners) have the option of revoking.
K. On to Thursday.
On Thursday Mr. Pataki, the governor who has spent millions of our tax dollars since he took office on a desperate rear-guard action to keep from having to educate the children of New York City, wanted to thank Our Fearless Leader for supporting us in our hour of need, particularly what little homeland security money we got, which Mr. Pataki also shipped most of upstate because, well, we don't vote for him down here, 'cause he's a jerk, but unfortunately that's also why we don't vote for Our Fearless Leader, who has been similarly resistant to spending Homeland Security funds on New York State when there are still vacant lots in Montana at risk.
Then he announced Our Fearless Leader.
At that point The Majority Report got us on the phone and we made a great deal of noise.
I don't really need to tell you what he said, because you've heard it about a billion times before - cap damages awards from bad doctors, tax cut tax cut tax cut freedom education tax cut tax cut climb ev'ry mountain ford ev'ry stream ownership society I speak a few words of spanish, did I mention that? terror terror terror Saddam and al Qaeda are linked somehow and some grunt sent me a letter where he said "we soldiers of yours" and terror and Saddam was not a very nice man and Osama who and at least four more years and we'll decide whether to have another election. Arnold talks better than me and he's not even from here. Heh.
The audience, already surfeited with the huge bloody hunks of red meat they'd been tossed from the stage all week, was not as enthusiastic about the speech as they were about the speeches they hadn't already heard, but they hopped to their feet and shouted four more years every time a protester popped up in the audience so the cameras couldn't catch the protester being dragged away.
I watched Our Fearless Leader speak from the Tank, which was closing out a much-appreciated week of providing a place for non-Republican bloggers to hang their hats. Two nice things about hanging out with the liberals all week: you didn't have to watch your stuff, because no-one took anything, and the heckling of the speeches was olympic caliber. [ahistorical nonsense], someone Republican and/or a media person or David Brooks would say, and then someone from the audience would yell [exactly what was wrong with what they said with helpful illustrative cites]. Or "Four more months." That was good too.
The mighty Atrios and the lovely Mrs. Atrios fed me pizza and the Kossacks set up a table with snackforms. Also there was beer. Many beers. Beersh, even.
Now we'd appreciate it if all you nice delegates would go home because Mr. Bloomberg isn't going to let all the illegally detained people go until you do and we really don't have the money for the fines and besides which he thinks that yelling is an act of terror (no, really, he said so) and we really don't want him to completely leave the rails and start telling the police to shoot people for raising their voice.
You are very scary people. Just saying.
ed. link fixed
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no subject
Date: 2004-09-03 10:40 am (UTC)One typo: The link to "Here are Senator Zell and Mr. Cheney speaking to America" goes to the wrong site, I think.
-Mithras
Fables of the reconstruction (http://mithras.blogs.com)
P.S. - the livejournal commenting login doesn't seem to want to let me log in.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-03 11:03 am (UTC)I have it on "screen" because a nice man from Rumania was posting fifty or so ads for south asian pedophile lesbian incest porn a day in comments and I was tired of deleting them. I know it's a pain, but trust me, not nearly as much of a pain as deleting hundreds of ads for south asian pedophile lesbian incest porn.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-03 11:01 pm (UTC)Freedom of assembly and speech are the two most important rights of all - amazing.